Words Which Never Got Mouth

I wake up and make it through the day ignoring it. But at the end of the day I have to face the fact that she's going away and I have no chance to see her for another year.The girl who has been my confidante. She's moving to Los Angeles for higher studies. She got accepted at University of California. I know I should be happy, I am too. So proud of her. I mean..its's UCLA!!!! But I am not at all happy that she would be moving to a different time zone (we would talk less), she would meet new people, get involved in different clubs than me and eventually lead a life of which I'm no more a part. Not that I have been, atleast for the past two years. But of course, she was always a call away. It was comforting.

I am speaking about my friend..my best friend or the word "soul sister" would be more appropriate. We first met 5 years back. She was a fresher in our school, grade 9. We hit it off instantly. It was like having met a mirror..just a non identical clone..clone of the soul. Our way of thinking and way of perception was similar beyond belief. There was no reason we wouldn't be the best of chums. We even looked similar in some ways, though she is way too beautiful than me. Two years spent with her are probably the best years of my life. All we needed to enjoy was each other and our ability to speak. The world didn't matter anymore. We talked about anything and everything. There isn't a topics under the sun that we haven't talked about. We became close overtime. Like friends who could complete each other's sentences, know what's in their heart by just looking in the eyes, who understand perfectly.
Unfortunately I had to shift towns and that came as a blow to both of us. All the times spent together, all the nights we spent together glued to the phone talking nonsense, it would all come to a standstill. That would be because we wouldn't share the same world. Universes apart. Initially everything remained almost the same (including our phone bills) but eventually the spark faded away. People say that if we reached such a state, we were never that good friends. But I know better. Life just got in the way.
I missed her everyday since I saw her last. Thought about her daily. She has been my inspiration since ever.I met her after two years after leaving town. And things were different. We didn't flop on her bed like we used to. We sat in the guest room sedately. I was never a guest at her home before, I was always a part of it.Her room wasn't the same. New furnishings. It wasn't our den anymore. And it stung to know that probably it's someone else's den now. And then it was time to say goodbye again. Awkwardeness in the air. The hug was not the way it used to be. And of all of these new and strange things make me want to go back to the times we shared earlier.
Like I used to write for her. Oh yes..I wrote a lot on her. The first verse that I wrote for her made her cry.
There's this girl, my real friend
Who's laughter never ends
She goes on and on, never revealing
All her deepest, bitter feelings
I wish I was her
In hiding my emotions
Something I couldn't achieve
After all my devotion
She's my life, my world
My very soul
There's something about her
Which isn't there in all
Yet she's not the same as she was
She has just ..changed a lot
I remember when we first met
She was so cute, such a pet
All her innocence is now gone
As if she's wearing a mask on
But underneath this new girl
I still find the person I knew
The very same person
Who became so grotesque
It's her life, she's free
But she has always been there for me
Her position in my life
Cannot be replaced
My love for her
Cannot be displaced
To her, I would like to convey
Thank you, for all the smiles you have given to me
And remember, I'll be there for you, eternally...
I know it wasn't that great. I was 15 when I wrote that. I hope it remains it special to her. Because I want to remember her the way I knew her. And even though she has changed so much, what soothes my soul is the memory of "old -her". I remember her so distinctly...
The way you move in your sleep
The way you look before you leap
The deep illusion that you keep
You never knew, but i was noticing
The shimmer in your eye when it twinkles
The way your nose crinkles
The way your uniform always had wrinkles
You never knew, but i was noticing
Your hands that look so dinky
Your mood swings, so cranky
The jerk of your ponytail, so jaunty
You never knew, but i was noticing
The way you laughed all around
The way you threw things on the ground
The way you looked when you were spell bound
You never knew, but i was noticing
The way your lips twitched when you were about to cry
The way your hair looked when they weren't dry
The way you lazed around, not ready to try
You never knew, but i was noticing
The way you hated to stand in a row
The way you curved your eyebrow
The way you complained that people grow
You never knew, but i was noticing
The way you hated to eat red
The way you always flopped on your bed
I remember the way you bled
You never knew, but i was noticing
And now probably you've forgotten the places you haunted
But I hope you get everything you wanted
I wish your every wish is granted
'Cuz you never know, I might be missing.

After all the hard times our friendship has gone through, we both know that we are still bound to each other, still connected in our most vulnerable states..and there's one thing I know for sure..she's one person I'll never get over in my life...

 

Written by Aveesha Sharma, CSE-I year